Concussions in Youth Football

Concussions an issue beyond NFL
“WARNING: No helmet can prevent the serious head or neck injuries a player might receive while participating in football.”
Every football player's helmet reminds them of the dangers they face each time they buckle their chin straps.
NFL football player Ray Lewis calls football a “man's game,” but the hazards of football, particularly concussions, don't discriminate between men and boys.
A 2011 study conducted by the Center for Injury Research and Policy of The Research Institute at Nationwide Children's Hospital said over 8,000 adolescent athletes are treated for concussions each year.
Each day, an average of 57 six to 17 year-olds are treated in U.S. Emergency rooms for football concussions.
Such statistics have catapulted the concussion issue to the forefront of the American football community psyche.
Youth football players are at risk of incurring not only acute effects of concussions like loss of balance and dizziness but chronic effects like loss of long-term memory if they continue playing football on into high school and possibly beyond.
“Obviously the younger you start somebody getting little mini head traumas then the more opportunities there are for injury,” said LSU head team physician Dr. Jeffrey Burnham.
Greater awareness of the severity of concussion symptoms and effects has lead to increased emphasis on addressing player safety and well being at the youth football level.
Burnham believes the increased focus on concussions has lead to more detection of injuries.
“I think to some extent we may be seeing more concussions just because every year we're looking harder and harder, and we're making the athletes themselves aware of it,” Burnham said.
In 2008, the NFL began making concussions and player safety a higher priority.
The league released a pamphlet to players to educate them about concussions and opened a hotline to report instances of players being forced to play against medical advice.
The Louisiana Youth Football organization began taking action against concussions around the same time the NFL did three years ago.
Louisiana Youth Football sees kids between the ages of four and thirteen suit up to play football and director LeRoy Hollins believes the organization is ahead of the game on concussion safety.
“We’re getting NFL information at a youth level, and we’re getting it early,” Hollins said. “As soon as they get it, we get it.”
Because youth football players can start playing at such an early age, there's a greater chance to encounter the cumulative effects of concussions, despite the game not being as fast or physical as the collegiate or professional ranks.
According to Burnham, a player is more susceptible to concussions after suffering their first one and the consequences may be more severe.
“There's something called second impact syndrome, where an athlete can actually die on the field, almost immediately from a second impact that's added to a previous concussion,” Burnham said.
Herman Daigre coaches Louisiana Youth Football’s Baton Rouge Trojans and recognizes this fact.
“I absolutely think about it. Both of my kids play,” Daigre said. “Being a father I'm always thinking about the safety of the kids.”
Daigre and other coaches don't want to jeopardize the safety of the young athletes and choose to err on the side of caution when faced with a decision.
“Out here we just don’t take no chances. A kid gets hit hard, we believe it’s a head injury, under no circumstances whether he passes the test or not we just put him out just to be on the safe side,” Daigre said.
Daigre is a paramedic off the field and tests players himself to see if they show concussion symptoms.
“The finger test, eye coordination. We don’t have the actual staff to help the kids like in college or high school, we just play it safe and pull them out,” Daigre said.
While the organization doesn’t have the medical staff that high schools, college and professional teams have, every coach is trained to recognize and deal with concussions.
“All our coaches have to go through a certification program and within that certification program is a certification for the concussion,” Hollins said.
Coaches are able to recognize the symptoms of concussions so they can treat their players appropriately.
Football fans see concussions happen during games, but players can get hurt even when the stadium lights are off.
“They are sometimes an issue in practice,” Burnham said.
The Youth Safety Alliance reports that 62 percent of all team sports injuries actually occur in practice.
Daigre has structured his practices to make sure players remain healthy over the course of a season.
“I might have one day, maybe one day (per week), where we do contact,” Daigre said. “When I do contact, I do it very sparingly.”
When Daigre does conduct full contact practices, he stresses techniques that emphasize player safety.
“No head to head contact,” Daigre said. “We try to hit low, wrap up, put your head to the side of the player.”
A player that suffers a concussion may initially experience blurred vision and loss of balance and possibly loss of consciousness for a short period of time.
Burnham notes the acute effects of concussions can become bigger problems if a player doesn't take the time to fully recover.
“With your brain obviously, you want to make sure it's 100 percent back to normal because if you don't, you're going to get some cumulative effects over a period of time that can cause memory changes and mood changes,” Burnham said.
Football historically has championed toughness and playing hurt, and coaches for decades have been the ones telling players to “walk it off,” or “suck it up,” and stay on the field.
Along with being LSU's head physician, Burnham works with Episcopal high school in Baton Rouge and feels coaches at all levels are better educated to make informed decisions about player safety.
“I think coaches are better educated today and understand the consequences of some of those problems and I think they truly do want the best for their athletes,” Burnham said.
Daigre says some of the pressure for kids to play through injuries like concussions has actually come from parents.
“You might get some parents that might want to push you to put their kids in, them believing they're alright because they say they're alright, but we can't take that chance,” Daigre said.
Sometimes players are the ones pleading to get back on the field.
“They are so competitive and they want to be back in there and sometimes the symptoms are fairly subtle,” Burnham said. “We have to be strong with them sometimes.”
Burnham and Daigre both agree that safety ultimately comes first when they make a decision to sit or play an athlete.
“Sometimes you do have to make the judgment that's best for the athlete,” Burnahm said.
For Daigre that may mean player safety coming before team success.
“Safety comes first when it comes to the Baton Rouge Trojans and we'll win after that,” Daigre said.

MC 7040 Profile Story

Tornado survivor left twisting in the wind
It started with a series of dreams.
For three straight April nights in 2010, Corbin White of Yazoo County, MS, dreamt of tornados.
On April 24, White’s dreams turned into a real life nightmare.
“I started to look up the meaning of tornado dreams and it just meant there’s gonna be turmoil in your life,” White said. “Literally that weekend, I was in a tornado.”
That Saturday an EF-4 tornado with winds of up to 170 mph tore across northeast Louisiana and into central Mississippi killing 10 and injuring dozens more.
The National Weather Service describes tornados packing such force as, “devastating.”
White began her day at her boyfriend Nathan Pepper’s house near Yazoo City, unaware that she would face one of nature’s most powerful forces hours later.
“It was sunny and I wasn’t worried about it,” White said.
A little before lunchtime, White received a call from Pepper who was at work, telling her she needed to get downstairs into the bathroom.
White was home by herself and argued with her boyfriend that she didn’t want to be home alone if bad weather hit.
“I told him, ‘I’m going to your parents,’ and I just hung up on him,” White said.
White knew something was wrong as soon as she stepped outside to walk to her car.
“People say it’s eerie before a storm,” White said. “It was just gray and eerie.”
Once White was on the road, she realized she’d made a mistake leaving home.
“Nothing was moving. There were no squirrels, there were no people outside. I was the only person stupid enough to leave and drive,” White said.

A Living Nightmare

It didn’t take long for the weather to get ugly.
White got into downtown Yazoo when she began to lose control of her car.
“My car started skidding to the left and I felt my wheels come off the ground,” White said.
Powerful winds pushed White’s car off the road into a ditch.
White saw a gas station near where her car had been moved to and left her vehicle to make a run for the safety of the building.
She had no idea a tornado was bearing down on the ground she was sprinting across across.
Once inside the gas station, White and the gas station owner watched as the tornado tore into the space she’d occupied only seconds before.
“The awning over the gas pumps totally blew away,” White said.
The sound was even more harrowing.
“It sounded like a train was on top of my body. That’s how loud it was,” White said.
White doesn’t remember how long it took for the tornado to pass over the gas station but can recall vividly what she saw when she stepped outside.
“There was this shopping center across the intersection and the left and right sides of it were completely flat. It was like rubble,” White said.
After looking at the surrounding area, White couldn’t believe how the little gas station she and the owner had taken refuge in managed to hold up.
“It looked like a warzone,” White said.

Sifting through the wreckage

White managed to start her car but couldn’t drive to Pepper’s parents’ house because of debris covering the roads.
“I ended up at his brother’s house,” White said. “His brother was in the carport on the phone and I don’t remember it but he said I got out of the car, I was pale and I walked under the carport and he said I collapsed.”
It was the first moment White had been still since she left her boyfriend’s house earlier that day and the first moment she could begin to understand her reactions to the tornado.
“I was scared but I didn’t even have to think. It (my body) just went into survival mode,” White said.
White and Nathan’s brother Jared Pepper decided to head back to her house to see if there was any damage.
White saw a different world beyond Jared’s truck window.
The town was ravaged. Buildings that stood an hour ago weren’t there anymore and trees were down everywhere.
“People are literally coming out of rubble,” White said. “People were cutting through trees to try to get to places.”
White reached her boyfriend’s house and was greeted by Nathan.
“He’s standing there just looking at his back yard, and I just ran and hugged him,” White said.
The house went largely undamaged, but the rest of the neighborhood did not.
“There was this woman and her three kids that lived in a trailer down the street from Nathan and apparently the tornado picked up her trailer,” White said.
Corbin returned to Jared’s house while Nathan, Jared and a police officer picked through the rubble of the trailer to find the family.
Later that evening the brothers returned to White and described to her how merciless nature could be.
The mother didn’t survive, leaving behind a baby and two little boys who survived with injuries.
“He (Nathan) had nightmares about it for weeks,” White said. “He told me that her body didn’t even look human, it was so mangled.”

Afraid of the Wind

For weeks after the tornado, White saw a city struggling to pick up the pieces.
“They had called in the National Guard, there were Army tents set up everywhere,” White said.
Looking at White and Yazoo, both still haven’t made a full recovery.
“I’m still very much in shock and afraid,” White said.
The tornado winds physically altered Yazoo City’s landscape, changing White’s appearance as well.
“I literally lost a lot of weight after that because I was always scared. Every second I was scared that something was just going to drop out of the sky,” White said.
The dreams haven’t stopped either.
“I have tornado nightmares all the time, and I also think I have panic attacks,” White said.
White isn’t the only one still affected by the tornado.
She and Nathan have since broken up, but they still share an experience that will stay with them for life.
“He still will call me to this day in tears, like something just triggered him thinking about it,” White said.
Natural disasters often serve as an unfortunate reminder of man’s helplessness in the face of nature.
With each catastrophe humanity endures, a new level of respect for Mother Earth’s awesome might is realized.
“I am scared of Mother Nature every day,” White said.
With each day White deals with the memories she carries from that April afternoon a year and a half ago.
Dark clouds that once beckoned her and her family out to the front porch to watch the rain fall now usher her indoors for fear of what may come.
But those dark clouds and violent winds have made her hold those she cares about closer than ever.
“I’m very much more caring about each second of my life and each person in it,” White said.
In the journey of life, one will face many storms, literally and figuratively.
For White, this one is a storm she believes she’ll never fully recover from, but with a newfound respect for nature and a reinforced love for her family and friends, she moves forward.

2010 Dillard’s Uncle Fantasy Baseball League Prediction Special
Brought to you by Jay Moersen and Michael Wunderlich of The Almosts and The Columbia Narwhals respectively

With each new season comes new optimism that for each team, “This really is the year!” The draft and the celebratory festivities have come and gone, Spring Training is nearing its conclusion and once again, The Dillard’s Uncle Fantasy Baseball league, a league so elite that one Tim Kurkjian realized we were too hardcore for him, is ready to plunge head first into a season as new and as fresh as the first pearl that’ll be thrown out at Fenway Park on April 4th by Mr. Josh Beckett. Without any further adieu, these are your 2010 Official DU League Predictions, brought to you by Jay “That Chicken Finger Place is Delicious!” Moersen, and translated into literary form by Michael “Does Anyone Want to Get a Pizza?” Wunderlich. You’ve all been waiting the entire winter for this, so here you are:

EMANSKI’S ALL STARS
We start with the reigning DU league champions, the team with the monstrous trophy adorning a certain apartment in Clemson, SC. Neal Moersen’s Emanski’s All Stars certainly lived up to the legendary Tom Emanski’s billing last year, playing to a degree of excellence that only The Crime Dog could endorse. According to Sir Jay,

Best Pick: Scott Sizemore, 18th round. Projected to have 16 hr 75 rbi 10 sb, Sizemore looks to be a nice replacement to EAS legend Brian Roberts as he begins his climb in years. Roberts is still solid though, as we all know.

Biggest Reach: Brandon Webb, 11th round.

Overview: Overall, EAS once again put in a solid draft day. A solid team all around, the champs only real need was at the starting pitcher position, something that wasn’t addressed in full this past weekend. Ricky Nolasco stands out among the five starting pitchers drafted that will be a viable fantasy option this year, although Webb and Sheets may both yield big time rewards if they bounce back and return to form. Hell, if they return to a portion of their old selves they could represent some good value. If those two emerge back into shape, the EAS rotation will go from the bottom of the pack to the top 3 overall.

Grade: B

The Almosts
The team that was probably the most talked about approaching draft day for various reasons, The Almosts are a formidable team in the Jake the Snake division, headed up by Jay “I’ve got Laundromats, Bitch!” Moersen. (Actual quote from Five Points the other night.) A solid team all around with a manager that isn’t afraid to shake up his roster and pull the trigger on a big trade, not to mention a meticulous number cruncher, this squad is another team to beware of.

Value Pick: 19th round Marco Scutaro. Projected at 11-62-8 this year, Scutaro batting 9th in the Boston order is like someone batting 7th in most other lineups. Scutaro may not produce on the same level he did last year with Toronto, but he’ll still be a good option if Jason Bartlett doesn’t build on his breakout year of 2009.

Biggest Reach: 13th round, Tim Hudson. The #4 for The Almosts, but he’s still coming off of Tommy John, which can be a hit or miss in terms of performance post-op. Hopefully for The Almosts, he returns and channels his inner Josh Johnson instead of Carl Pavano.

Overview: This team filled a lot of needs early in the draft, something you have to do if you want to win. Depth in the OF and a SS were both primary needs, and both were acquired on draft day. One question mark going into the season though is the health of Brad Lidge and Huston Street and how they’ll hold up during the season, and if they’ll perform like they have in the past. Saves could be an issue.

Overall: B+


Finley’s Fungo
After a mid-season name change and a streak of tough luck in terms of position players, manager Daniel “Sheet Murderer” Gordon has professed that this team is more to his liking, which could spell trouble because we all know Gordon has a sound baseball mind, and knows how to adjust during the season as well as anyone there is. Fungo, with their devastating pitching rotation could be a dominant team if the offense catches up this year.

Value Pick: 24th round, David Ortiz. Despite the fact that he’s older, fatter, admitted to taking PED’s and isn’t nearly as scary, (and he doesn’t play the field,) Ortiz still put up 25+ homers and 99 rbi’s last year, and that was a season when everyone was thinking he was finished as a baseball player. He’s still capable of putting up those kind of numbers this year.

Biggest Reach: None. Short arms are to blame.

Overview: Picking up Derek Lee early takes care of the most glaring need the Fungo had last season at 1B. Lee’s still a solid contributor and should be motivated to help the Cubs go deep into the playoffs this year, as their window of opportunity with their current team is closing fast. He went high for potential starter David Price and Jorge De La Rosa, which for some teams may have been suicidal, but Fungo’s staff is so strong that it’s a worthy endeavor to risk those picks. A small negative would have to be the lack of aggressiveness in going for closers, but as we’ve all heard before, never pay for saves. There’s always a Kevin Gregg waiting around on the waiver wire.

Grade: A


Razzle Dalzell
The team who’s location actually flaunts a team with an even more badass name, The Trailbosses, is headed up by manager John “Our Dryer’s Broke” Sheridan. Known for his quick and adaptive thinking in setting lineups and acquiring players, Dalzell is always an interesting team, brimming with young talent.

Value Pick: 11th round, Clayton Kershaw. A no brainer, Dalzell needed a third starter and a keeper worthy pitcher. Seems as though Kershaw was gift wrapped.

Biggest Reach: None

Overview: Once again, Dalzell assembles a solid team. In terms of youth and talent, there’s not an equal team in the league. This is a typical Sheridan team if you’ve ever watched him play the Dynasty mode on The Show. Prospects and young talent. The only downside is he took one infielder, so he didn’t do enough to add depth to his infield.

Grade: B



McCann’s Cans
The team with one of the top hitting catchers in the league, THE best hitter in the league and two of the most proficient speeders in the league, this is a scary team that needs the starting pitching to remain healthy and the young guns to step up.

Value Pick: 19th round, JA Happ. Chapman will start the year in the minors, discounting his ability to produce early, and so a third starter was needed, and Happ is exactly what was needed, late in the draft.

Biggest Reach: Alex Rios. Effort and batting average leave a ton to be desired from someone you’d expect to destroy in all facets of the game if he actually applied himself. HR’s and RBI aren’t anything to boast of, he’ll get his fair share of steals this year, but Crawdaddy and Ellsbury already put in the most work for that category.

Overview: Another solid Albert Pujols led team, nothing to argue about that. A qualm though, would be that there’s not enough variety in stat category coverage for the Cans to progress anymore than last year. The same starting staff basically returns, and all the key positional players are there. Maybe just a little more luck at the end of the season is what it’ll take.

Grade: B



Your Mom’s Cunnilingus Crew
Dylan “Big Nasty” Reese, aka The Demoralizer, aka DReese, aka I Hate Grayson Mullins more than I hate having a root canal, is back ladies and gentlemen, and The Crew is coming with him. Boasting some of the finest performers pitching and hitting last year, The Crew are another team as nasty as their name. Although they do have Arthur Rhodes.

Value Pick: 20th round, Todd Helton. Had a nice season last year, still a productive player, struck out 160 times less than Mark Reynolds did.

Biggest Reach: Mark Reynolds. While he filled a major positional need, but home runs can be found in a myriad of other players.

Overview: Possessing only 13 picks this year, The Crew had to be efficient, but still wasted 5 picks on Damon, Hunter, Mijares, Milledge and Feliciano. Granted, the Damon pick was autopicked because his computer froze. He could have waited on the setup men until after the draft and found anyone he wanted in free agency.

Grade: C


The Banhammers
Headed up by new arrival Dave “I’m in Spain, Bitch,” Espindle, Dave inherits Matthew Patula’s team that had a great season last year and has a few dynamic players and an overall strong roster. But Jay’s assessment of the draft for Dave was like the icon for his team, “Stern, but fair.”

Value Pick: 12 round, Carlos Lee. No Brainer #2. A 3rd outfielder was needed and he didn’t have an 11th round pick, and luckily, The Horse was still there.

Biggest Reach: Carlos Pena. With Tex and Joey Votto on board, The Banhammers grabbed
Pena in the 17th. With that kind of depth, Pena at anytime for The Banhammers is a problem.

Overview: Hopefully Dave wasn’t at the draft the entire time, as a few picks befuddled Master Jay. Namely, Pena, Beltre, Vlad and Matsui back to back, as well as the fact that Jenks and R. Soriano are his only relievers.

Grade: C-



Bronx Bombers
The Bombers, headed up by Patrick “I love McDonalds Cinnamon Rolls,” Gordon return a good looking team aimed to make a jump in the standings this year, although more offense will probably be the primary issue to be resolved as the season goes on.

Value Pick: 17th round, Franklin Gutierrez. Who the Cans should have waited for instead of taking Rios.

Biggest Reach: Big Puma, Lance Berkman. Same story as the Hammers. Two solid 1B options… and Berkman? (This is Mike speaking, I believe you said it autopicked it for you because your computer froze.) Although, Master Jay is surprised the big guy fell that far.

Overview: A well rounded team overall, with the exception of Berkman, there were a lot of need filling picks. Guys like Pence, Doumit, Bailey, Kuble and Guitierrez can take this team a long way, although the lack of firepower may not be enough to take it to the playoffs.

Grade: B-

Narwhals
By rule, I won’t write about my team. I’ll just state the fact: My team came in last place last year.

Biggest Reach: John Lackey. Could have had Clayton Kershaw.

Overview: A few problems. First, no closers. DON’T PAY FOR SAVES, but the Narwhals act like they weren’t in this league last year. The outfield won’t scare any opposing managers, with Quentin, Choo, Jones, Spann and Maybin. Much like Pujols, Lincecum can carry a team through some tough weeks, but with a 32 minimum innings rule in place this year it diminishes value and places more importance on depth.

Grade: C


G-Town Hoyas
The only Hoya Paranoia around the league is wondering what Mr. Ethan “Joe Nathan for Justin Verlander straight up” Root will do for his next player transaction. Many a trades proposed and early waiver wire actions have the league abuzz. Chalk it up to preseason giddiness you critics. The Hoyas have a strong baseball mind in Root, who vows to perform well this year.

Biggest Reach: Everyone but Andrus and Soto.

Overview: What happened? Not only did the Hoyas draft Daniel Uggla, a backup catcher before a starting catcher, JJ Hardey and Colby Rasmus, they didn’t take a closer. Master Jay doubts that Ethan could disagree with the statement that he had a bad draft because within 28 hours he dropped and replaced 4 of his draft picks with other players. You could have put the Hoya keepers with any other team’s draft and you could potentially have a playoff team, but instead you’ll have one that will finish last.

Grade: F



Predicted order of finish with Playoff teams* and Champion ***

Dan Marjele
1. All Stars * Not enough pitching
2. Fungo *** Best Pitching
3. Cans *
4. Crew*
5. Narwhals
Jake the Snake
1. Almosts* No firepower in the end
2. Dalzell* Needs to find another Upton
3. Bombers
4. Banhammers
5. Hoyas
There you have it folks, according to Jay Moersen, that’s how it’s going down this year.

Gordon's Fungo squad will presumably win with the Three Horseman and an improved offense, while the rest of the playoff regulars reappear once again, and the whipping boys continue in futility. But like every year, predictions often turn to shit, because as they say, "That's why you play the games." It's going to be about luck, adjustments, shrewd moves and non-moves and being able to stay on top of things. A lot can happen between now and September/October.

You've read them, disagreed, agreed with them, hated them, spit at them, ignored them, embraced them, now let the truth be told.



The season begins April 4th with New York taking on Boston at Fenway at 8pm Eastern Standard Time, Sabathia v. Beckett. Another year, another season. Let the discussions begin.

Life is Good When You're Breathing

I have a hard time,
keeping up this stream of tears,
wallowing in these made up fears,
are these things real to me,
or are they things in which I believe?
just ideas that I did conceive?
I'm pretty sure it's just a dream,
the real hurt comes from something more,
when the fire dies,
the embers fade,
the eyes grow dim,
these are the idols we have made,
perfect bodies, perfect smiles,
perfect lives, these perfect lives,
surrounded by our giant walls,
that shut us out,
lock us in,
slow decaying from within,
our hearts do break,
but we can't feel,
we'll never know,
what's truly real,
sense of touch,
of taste and smell,
all forsaken for what they sell,
we're let down by what can't feel,
consumed by what we swear is real,
I want, I need, I have, I'm sure,
that what I have is white and pure,
it's proof of a life well spent,
proof that somewhere along the way,
everything fell apart.
We're crying out,
from behind our walls,
saviors saviors, saviors,
save us save us, save us,
outstretched arms,
no one will repay us,
for deeds we haven't done,
words in webs we haven't spun,
you look at me for salvation,
but I promise you I'm not the one,
to raise you up to constellations,
I know this,
life is good when you're breathing,
the poor rejoice, the wealthy seething,
the joy of being a human being,
I control myself, look to myself,
I'll fall to pieces,
if I cast my eyes towards someone else,
life is good when you're breathing,
the little things keep my heart beating.

Another post

So many times,
in fact every time,
I've held out my hand,
tried to be the man,
tried to be steady,
tried to be ready,
to hold you up,
to be solid ground,
but it seems every time,
yea, every time,
you gave away,
you walked away,
you stayed away,
and I watched the day,
turn blue to gray,
the sun fall in my skies
lose sight with my eyes,
every time,
yes, every time,
you put me down,
you let me go,
you left me alone,
so gentle it hurt,
so cold that I burned,
so sweet that I soured,
so short that my hours,
turned into seconds,
that turned into moments,
they turned into nightmares,
and set me in my chair,
to sit and to think,
about how I can be,
all of these things, that you'll never see.

Perspective

This past weekend, I went to my friend's house to work again to prepare for his sister's wedding that'll be taking place there.

It's nice to go and let the other stresses of my life wash away, but this weekend, I found myself constantly being reminded of things I'm unhappy with in my own life. The entire weekend, I seemed to dwell on them, letting them consume me at times.

Once I returned back to school, I was confronted by other issues, heavier issues. Without going into detail, my sister is considering transferring schools. On top of this, the girl that is living with my mom has to go to her senior prom on crutches. And it's Easter.

I guess my problems (mainly girl frustrations), seem trivial when placed next to those issues. Life is all about perspective. So much of the time, I lack perspective, and whenever I find it, it's a fresh dose of reality for me. This world is more than what I want out of it. I'm not sure what else I should be doing, wanting, expecting, giving, but the more I'm here, the more I'm sure that I have something else to be doing while I'm here. With patience, I know I'll find it.

The world through my eyes

I'm alone in this crowded world,
above all the crowded rooms,
the clutter escapes me,
and I can breathe,
when I look at where I came from,
I never want to return,
I love my isolation,
so far away and cold,
no one can touch me here,
I hate where I came from,
I hate what they are,
when I see them,
and I see me,
I see how different,
we truly are,

I love being so far away,
and I like it way up here,

nobody can touch me,

and that's how I want to be,
this world is not mine
their world is not mine,
I gave it all away,

the smiling faces,of fabricated moments,
of medicated psyches,
crawling on their hands and knees,
only in my dreams,
only my reality,
when I'm awake,
they all dream
of what it's like to feel alive,
nothing to hold on to,
nothing to believe,
they appear to be alive,
but I fear they're dead inside,


If I had the chance,
to rejoin the world I left,
to fall back with the life I had,
I'd cast down every rope,
every ladder, refuse every hand,
this is where I want to be,
alone, away, only me,
your world is dead,
in my eyes dead,
I'll stay right here,
and wash away.

To wait.

Technology is a fantastic thing. It makes our lives easier, and enhances what we're able to do. We're able to keep in touch with people at long distances with relative ease these days compared to the era of handwritten letters from days gone by.

I think because of this, we've become accustomed to instant gratification. Sending a text, you expect a response in a timely fashion, just like you would with an email or a phone call or any other sort of thing related to digital correspondence. I think we've become too used to having people right at our fingertips, and it creates a feeling of crowding, even though we could be hundreds of miles away.

I feel that more and more we lean on the methods of communication we have instead of really valuing what we're communicating. The easier it is, the more we take others being there for granted, as if they really are just a phone call or a text message away. More and more, face to face communication is being pushed aside for the impersonal method that is everything related to a screen. I wonder, are we as a society soon heading down a path of entirely no face to face communication? How are we supposed to connect with other people in a real way? Or will we just forget that element entirely of personal relationships and forge a new way of feeling?

Joose.

The last time I wrote, there was a different President in office. It's wierd to think that back in 8th grade people were speculating Barack Obama would run for office in 2008 and all of a sudden, here he is, and here we are. Wild wild world.

Gainesville took place this weekend, and I had an absolute blast. I have a few major things to be considering this next semester, and have to really sit down and bake on some thoughts. This is looking to be my most important semester of my life, and I must treat it as such.




It's wild to go to different places and see how backwards South Carolina is sometimes.

I suck at spelling.

I just realized that without Spell Check, I would be the world's most clueless person when it comes to spelling actual words. Yea, there's a typo in the title of my previous entry. Ayeeee.


Here's a concept I thought was interesting:

When people become drunk, they revert back to their most basic of feelings. At first when I heard this, I was skeptical(sp?). After listening to the points though, I can see how wierd it is. People feel the need to defend their territory, or at least we did back when we were still fighting over caves and huts and villages and, well, actually, we still are. Fuck. I guess we've always fought over territory. Maybe we're just destined to keep fighting amongst ourselves. We think we should be above this type of behavior as we fashion ourselves as such intelligent animals. Really though, it seems like it's just nature. A pride of lions will raise issue with another pride or a straggler unattached to any other group, as they are crossing on to their turf. That's sort of like nature's gang wars at hand. Simba's posse versus Scar's or some shit like that. Regardless, I think we're just going to always be fighting over land and territories, as countries, as states, as counties, as cities, as people.

Also, when drunk, the usual mindset is to scheme on any type of female (from a male's perspective) and see if she's digging the game you're slangin. That's the basic urge to procreate I guess, since I assume we felt that need because we had to at one point, fuck like rabbits to continue our species in a challenging world. We're just animals man.


Gainesville is coming up this next weekend. I. Am excited. Tremendously. When you've got everything you could want, everything else seems trivial. Ride the wave baby.

New Years Resolutions means crowded running tacks

It's the first week back to school, and as expected, the Strom Thurmond Fitness and Wellness Center (GYM) is CRAWLING with people ready to start their New Year's Resolutions. Students (it seems like it's usually girls) are flocking to USC's fitness Mecca to attain their perfect bodies that reside within their current flabby physique. Upon first hearing complaints about how many people had swarmed the Strom, I became enraged. In a way, I reasoned that these people weren't really serious about getting in shape, and that they'd be gone by the end of the week. I was angry they'd be there taking up my space, faking the drive it takes to maintain a healthy body. But after thinking about it, I hope those that do decide to go and workout and get in shape as their New Year's Resolution do hold themselves to it, and stay. It's better for everyone if more people decide to get in shape and actually stick to that decision. I wish all those setting out on their Resolutions success. I know I'll need a bit of good luck to carry out mine, but so far it's going well.

Speaking of things, it's the first week back to school, and I'm excited not only about the school year, but the year in general. It's bizarre how my attitude towards some things has changed in the month away from Carolina. So many things can change in just a short while, and once again, I believe good things happen to good people, so as long as I try to be good, I think good things will continue to happen to me.

I'd urge you to take the new start to the semester to look at yourself and see if you're really doing everything you can to get all that you want out of life.

Briefly-

1. If you want something bad enough, you'll work for it. That's how you earn things.

2. Nothing worth having ever came easy. If it did, then everyone would have it.

3. You never know who's going to come into your life at any given moment. It's up to you if you recognize the importance of that person or not, and act on it.

Walk in/Walk out

Last time I checked in was way back in last year. Well I'm back and in full effect in 2009. 2008 was an absolutely unpredictable, amazing, fantastic, awful, horrific, terrible, exciting, dull year. In my 20 years on planet earth, there was never a year like 2008. 2009 I hope, will be more consistent in a good way.

People walk in and out of life all the time. I guess when you're young you never really think about that because of how short your life so far has been. But getting more and more into life you see how people you were so sure would be there for all time, fade away, and people you never dreamt you'd ever know, suddenly step into your life. It seems that the only certainty in life anymore is that it's absolutely uncertain. Nothing's ever set in stone and all you can do is do your best to live for today and prepare for tomorrow.


Last week in South Florida, this past week has been otherworldly. Easily the best week at home this break, and I'm joined by someone else in saying, "I don't want to leave." But what must happen must happen, and as Tupac said, "Life goes on." On that note, South Cack next weekend, ride or die motherfuckers.

We're all a million different people from one day to the next.

Christmas aftermath entails:

-food coma brought on by extreme consumption of baked goods and other festive foods.

-hangover of thanks after having had to thank trillions of people for their gifts. (And yes, each thank you was sincere.)

I was thinking today about how at this time of year, it always seems that you want some sort of company. I've been told by more people in the last few days than ever before of how they're just lonely and looking for some attention from really anywhere that they can get it. Are we that unstable that we've got to constantly seek the company of others to feel alright? I'm no different. Feeling alone sucks. I've never taken a psychology class, but I imagine feeling wanted and appreciated is a basic need.

Christmas Eve/Morning

It's 3:30 in the morning on Christmas Day, and once again, life rocks. I encourage everyone who should glance at this post to take a moment to appreciate their families and friends who've surrounded them and make life the amazing gift it is.

These last few days have been unbelievable. Terrible, amazing, unusual, drab all in the same day at times. But my God, I feel like I've grown 10 years time since this past Friday. It's all about perspective, and how you look at things I guess in life that make the difference in what happens to you. Take what you want out of that. It's late, or early, and I'm brainwashed from my Star Wars mini marathon me and my brother did tonight.

New objectives for the rest of break:

-Watch all 6 Star Wars DVD non stop. This will be accomplished.

-Have a Friday Friday. You know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, go to hell.



A few thoughts-

1. Jesus Christ lived and died so that we may be forgiven for our sins and be granted eternal life at His side. I hope we don't lose sight of the importance of this time of year.

2. It's truly better to give than receive, and the best gift of all, is kindness. Smile at a stranger, open yourself up to the world and for lack of better words, spread the good vibes!


Stop being such fucking scrooges and Merry Christmas!

And you thought you had problems?

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/12/18 <---That chick, has problems.

Anyways, each time someone tells you that something that happens unfavorably towards you is a learning experience, it's usually the last thing you want to hear. True story. It's so wild when you actually realize just how much you take away from those instances though.

My new objective-To communicate openly and honestly my feelings with others, and to not sugarcoat or be embarrassed about doing so. You only hurt yourself worse if you never let people know how you feel.

Don't think, just be.

Friends are friends, and enemies are nothing.

It's up to you to decide who's which and for how long they remain that way, because things change in an instant.

At this point in my life, my friends and enemies are constantly changing, and one of those enemies of mine is myself.

Who are your friends and enemies?

Theraputic Self Destruction

Music is an absolute escape into another world where you can do anything you want. Whatever you're carrying, whatever you're feeling, you can sink into a song and just wash away with it. By the end of that song, you're so far removed from wherever you were, a different mindset has taken over. That's kind of the case for me anyways.

It's warm (Florida warm) here, and I'm loving it.

I met Alonzo Mourning tonight at a book signing, and if anyone is interested in a strong willed individual, I suggest you research him a little bit. My all time favorite basketball player.

I'm taking this winter break to focus on personal growth, as I have a lot of free time on my hands, and am trying to be productive in some sort of way. My goal is to develop a better understanding of myself, so that I may understand others more clearly because of it. This sounds kind of dumb, but I think everyone at some point should have to face themselves, but rarely do we ever get the courage to recognize and acknowledge our flaws and actively pursue a solution to them. This is my early New Year's resolution. What's yours?

If you're an astronaut, I'll take you to the moon and back

It's amazing what the sense of touch can do to affect your mood. Just notice what happens when your hands touch some other person's the next time it should happen. Interesting sensation.

In other news, Fall 08 is over, and I'm looking at strait A's.

Today at Costco, my dad and I had a thought:

Does the mentality of living for reward and fearing punishment foster a lack of ethics? What I mean by that is, if we always look to be rewarded, and we always fear being reprimanded should we make an error in any way, do we lose sight of being good for the sake of being good to others? I'd like to hear what anyone has to say about this. It's a pretty interesting thing. Do we then think it's ok to do things that society deems unacceptable, but we ourselves do because we know there's no chance of being punished? If we know there's no punishment for an action, is it then seen as acceptable in our eyes to do it? Is it justified? What happens if that action is harming someone else? I'd love to hear what someone else thinks.

Other than that, it's warm, all the windows in the house are open, and I'm in shorts. Go to hell Northern states.

In the name of the wolf

That's a song by the band Last House on the Left. They're sick. If you dig heavier music, give them a spin. Rad stuff.

It's finals week, and I am unaffected. I have three to take in 5 days. In the immortal words of Travis Cook, "I'm chillin real hard."

I watched a total of 10 minutes of TV today and loved it. Not having to subject myself to constant barrages of advertisements about things I don't need is relaxing.

I leave for Florida this Saturday, and am very excited, but not in the same way I was last year. I noticed the differences:

Last Year-

I was excited to come home and see my friends, not have to worry about classes, and party. That and I was looking forward to cavorting around West Palm without a curfew. The typical stuff.

This year-

I'm still excited to see my friends, but that group I want to see has gotten considerably smaller, and I like it. Those I want to see are the ones I hold dearest to me, those friends who've always been behind me, and who I know regardless of our futures we'll always be able to pick right back where we left off. But most importantly, I'm excited to see my family.

I think one of the most forgotten things in our lives today is the importance of family. Not your extended network of friends you call your family, but your blood. They are the cradle from which you were molded into the human you are today, for better or for worse. I have a spectacular family, one which I love very much, and I'm not one known to use the word love in every day use. Just take this Winter Break, and appreciate it not for the spirit of Christmas so much (although Christmas still rocks) but just enjoy the moments you share with those you hold the closest, the ones you love the most. That's what I feel times like these are about. Family is the most important thing next to God in my life, and it only took me 19 years and change to realize that.

Back to coastin'

What a long and enjoyable weekend.

Just today was nice, waking up late, getting a good run in, going to an amazing show, and watching some movies with friends. It's been nice lately.


Real quick since it's 4:30 in the morning:

Life is weird. Just have faith you're going in the right direction.